Hello Brandon

Today is May 14th I called you today and you said that I was saying bad things to your mom and the last time we spoke you told me I was not sending enough money home. I am amazed that these things are coming from a three year old. I also think that since the amount of money I sent home was never an issue before you probably have someone telling you to say these things. Brandon I love only GOD more than I love you I have always tried to not only make sure you were happy and well provided for but also I am working to make sure you don't grow up broke like your father did. I honestly moved to Houston because I thought I could come here and make a better life for you and me. But to be absolutely honest I think I also came out here to get away from your mom. I at one time was attracted to your mom but nothing more. I never loved your mom at all Brandon, she was just a girl I hooked up with in college. I admired her and I still think she is strong and beautiful but I have never wanted more than a physical relationship. Your uncle Tony told me that never assume the woman is on the same page as you are always tell her straight up. That was my mistake I should have told her that I was seeing other people. When she became pregnant I never wanted her to get an abortion (She never wanted to have one either) I was very firm when I told her that we are not together we are heaving a child together and I will always make sure that I always did everything in my power for the baby. I knew you were going to be a great child I was so happy when she called me and said you were a boy. I still have your ultrasound picture. Having said all that, when I first came out here I thought that it would be easy for me to find a job because it always has been. But it wasn't It took me four months to get a job of any kind and I didn't realize how much money I would spend in gas traveling all over the city and simply parking. I lost my car and the job I did have at that point in time I could not keep b/c it required me to have a car. So here I am in an expensive apartment with 8 months left on the rent. AND again no car and broke, I didn't know what to do so I just started taking the bus all over the city I wish I would have kept track of how many applications I filled out and how many times I would hear no. Every time I was paid I would always send home money to you I never told her no but if I didn't have anything what could I do. At this point she started telling me that she was going to file child support. We would make arrangements and I whenever I was not able to get the money in a timely fashion. She would explode and then we would have these really bad arguments, I am sorry for everytime your mother and I yelled in front of you. We both want the very best for you we get very frustrated with each other when we can't get it. I am sorry for every time your cried Brandon and everyone knows that I do everything I can for you son. I know it is hard now but daddy is working hard and I promise it will be better. I am writing this because when mommy is mad at me I think she tells you bad things about me. I think she says stuff to make you feel like I don't care about you. One day Brandon when you are older you will see that sometimes people use others to make them feel bad. We will be together one day son she can't take the love out of my heart no matter what she does. Please son don't forget that your daddy is always here for you.

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