$200 in a Bible

My very best friend on this planet is TonyJ. Now don't get this wrong I without a doubt have the best bunch of friends in the fucking world everybody from Z, Mark, Marcwill, Skip Coon, RobMAC, Booga, DP, Lanier, Tim, D. Parker and the man LA we are all cool, and I will do what ever for these boys but TonyJ, I honestly think of this dude as my brother. Honestly we are all like brothers but me and TonyJ are like twins. All of us have been in some ignorant shit at one time or another but Tony is like that dude that you call when you have fucked up, and you need a clean up man, like the dude in Pulp Fiction. He shows up laughs at you, fixes shit and leaves all the time calling you a stupid motherfucker. We have chased chicks together, we have been in fights together, we have been jail together. That's my fucking boy and the crazy shit is he never gets credit for being the wild one. One day his dad told me and this is a direct quote "Brad young man I am glad you are starting to grow up because you know, you and Tony need to thank GOD on High that yall aint in a Federal Pen right now" Everybody always thinks its me or LA but trust me TonyJ is fucking crazy. TonyJ has a younger brother Todd (I can't call Todd his little brother because Todd is like 6'4 250lbs) He is an ass whooper and I will leave it at that an honest to GOD ass whooper. TonyJ. has a daughter DJ, (My 1st Godchild shout out to Colby my Godson from Margina and Derrick and Keziah my Goddaughter From Nikki) she is a beautiful little girl (Just like Keziah) who is going to be very tall and very I'm too cute too sweat outside. TonyJ. wants her to play basketball she hates basketball( I find that funny as hell). Now don't let me paint the wrong picture TonyJ is a low down muthafucker he has stories that can't be told like the burning down the house story, the arson car story, and the very worst thing he has ever did THE PLANE TICKET STORY. I don't care if they put me in front of a judge trying to throw football numbers at me I aint gonna tell that one cuz. But this goes both ways he has ALLLLOOOTTT of shit on me he told me the other night "why didn't you say after you kicked in MAA's door you called me at my fucking job sounding like a four year old bitch saying TonyJ I just kicked in her door boo hoo hoo" I aint no bitch buddy , now it's there for the world too see so fuck you TonyJ.
Now I would start talking about TonyJ's then girlfriend and now wife but all I will say is She Fucking HATED ME now we are civil, but when TonyJ was my roommate dude she FUCKING HATED ME, the kind of hate that honestly makes a best friend have your boyfriend fuck every other hoe he can. Really if your man's best friend is anything near the jackass I am, your best bet is to never let that other muthafucka know you cant stand him. No matter how much pussy you throw on that dude. I am his best friend and I can always get chicks by the crib to do the same thing plus they will not argue with him and ask him to do nnoying shit like walk with your ass through the mall, they will fuck then leave. They will smoke a blunt fuck and leave no questions thank you have a nice day, except for the food network night (inside joke for me and TonyJ I was fucking this FINE Ass girl in my room and her best friend wouldn't let Tony hit she made him watch the food network with her, he is gonna kill me for saying that shit poor boy can't watch food network to this day but trust me he in this story he looks good)
Okay when his daughter was born he drove from Jackson to Wisconsin flew back down and he was gonna fly back up there and pick up his kid and her mom then drive back down. He was in a really shitty mood because TonyJ was making a transition that all men hate making he had to fucking grow up. So me being me, I asked if he wanted to go out and start a fight in a night club he said nah didn't have the bail. Well then I found my bible I had been looking for it although I have my bad ways trust me I read the Bible NOWHERE NEAR the amount I need too but sometimes you look to outside sources for guidance and there is nowhere like the GOOD BOOK. I open the book and I find $200, now the second before I found that money I said to myself man I feel like going to the strip club(Yes I had the bible in my hand you see I was trying to work on myself). The way I see it GOD said knock yourself out have a goodtime on me. I walk into tonic's room and I say TonyJ I just found $200 in a bible lets go see some tittys. And as if it were a miracle TonyJ looked at me and said Breezy I would love to go see some tittys. We stopped by the liquor store and bought a huge bottle of yeah you know it Corvossier. We then went straight to the shake show. Now I really don't care for strip clubs but man sometimes you just want to watch naked women dance on a stage and throw money at them. I can't explain it, but explaining it would make this seem less than what it was it was a Mission From GOD for us to make sure that some girl had enough money to pay her cell phone bill or she had the money to get those nice stockings so she could get that call from the bank and stop showing her tittys and make an honest living. I don't ask questions I just follow the steps before me.
So we get there and it is a slow night but the best way to make a night speed up is to open a bottle of liquor and try and got to the bottom of the sum bitch as fast as u can. But I must warn you that Corvissier is a dangerous liquor because you go from sober to cool to shit house drunk in about 30 mins especially if you having who can finish first contest. I am not sure about the following events but this for sure happened. We met three of the waitresses from that strip club and they looked a shit load better than all the strippers. They told us they were cousins, I said the following as they sat at the table TonyJ. witch one you fucking? They thought I was cute when I was drunk, I said wait till you see me nekked. I am not sure of the spelling but if you know anyone from the southern united states you know what nekked is my friend.
I took two to our apartment and TonyJ ended up going home with the other. The 3rd chick came over to be sure that nothing bad happen to her friend. I took the chick in my room and my dick would not get hard. (I know your not going to believe this but this never happens) I am really starting to beat myself up now, I just gamed this bitch from the strip club, got her back at my crib and I cant get a fucking hard on to save my life. I try and nothing so I just told the chic hey my dick wont get hard. She said "what" like are you serious look at me. I was honest I said my dick wont get hard you can go home if you want. Then TonyJ walked into the apt he had the "I just killed a mammoth with my bare hands" look on his fucking face. I fucking hate TonyJ did I mention that. Well he saw the chic in the living room and took her to his room and yep you guessed it fucked her too. (but he didn't shower between so that makes him nasty) So this chic made up her mind to fuck a stranger and her friend came to watch out for her and well the only person that didn't cum was her I jacked off I was too honry not to cum somehow. She got mad called me limp dick, I called her a fucking whore and I told her to stop fucking strangers and take her ass to Sunday School. The next time I went there she wasn't working there anymore, guess she took my advice. I told you mission from GOD.... Holla at cha next time same brezzy time same breezy channel.

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