Okay I love silly shit, so when I originally saw this it had Chuck Norris’ name on it, but after reading it I had to change it to mine. Now allot of this is fiction but a couple are dead on. Enjoy if you can get all the way to 29 and not crack a smile you are a bitch anyway stay the fuck off my site………
1. YoungBreezy’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. A man once asked YoungBreezy if his real name was "YoungJeezy". YoungBreezy did not respond he simply stared at him until he exploded.
3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, YoungBreezy instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
4. YoungBreezy built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Breez met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
5. YoungBreezy was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "good weed and a woman". Jesus smoked it proudly until his dying day. The other Wise men, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Breez omitted from the Bible. Shortly thereafter all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths
6. YoungBreezy once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
7. When YoungBreezy blazed the Oregon Trail, his family did not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
8. YoungBreezy can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "BOOYA!"
9. You already know this TonyJ but YoungBreezy does not sleep. He waits. Unless he is f*&ked in half drunk then and only then does he sleep.
10. When YoungBreezy’s woman burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Breeze said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into the backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question YoungBreezy."
11. YoungBreezy took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity," then you are dead wrong.
12. YoungBreezy is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right nuts.
13. YoungBreezy once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper, Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
14. YoungBreezy once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
15.YoungBreezy does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
16. YoungBreezy has yet to get a Jeopardy question wrong.
17. YoungBreezy sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Breeze roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
18. YoungBreezy's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF YOUNGBREEZY!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with BREEZE!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
19. YoungBreezy recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
20. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. YoungBreezy smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
21. The chief export of YoungBreezy is pain.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending YoungBreezy. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
22. If you can see YoungBreezy, he can see you. If you can't see YoungBreezy you may be only seconds away from death.
23. YoungBreezy once went to a frat party, and preceded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's YoungBreezy.
24. One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by YoungBreezy
25. At the end of each week, YoungBreezy murders a dozen white and black people just to prove he isn't a racist.
26. YoungBreezy punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.
27. Helen Keller's favorite color is YoungBreezy.
28. YoungBreezy once pulled a bus full of school children teetering over the edge of a cliff back onto the road with his bare hands, saving everybody inside. Even as they cheered, he screamed, "I'm not your savior!" and head butted the bus over the edge, sending them all to their horrible doom.
29. YoungBreezy counted to infinity TWICE!!!!!!!!
30. YoungBreezy does not go hunting that implies failure, YoungBreezy goes killing.
©2006 YoungBreezy.com
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